Connect • Contribute • Care

As a champion of good dental habits, I would like to note some Serious Oral Health Problem Indicators: Avoiding the dentist. Forgetting to floss and wash. Eating and drinking with wild abandon!

Okay, the last one I am still struggling with, but balance in life is also vital. Anyway, "studies show" that 4 out of five dentists choose better dental health as a choice. Therefore, there must be some validity to flossing, mouth washing, seeing the dentist regularly, and improving your diet. Until I got married, which was many years ago, I thought my sadistic (health conscious) parents had made it all up.

Actually, it could be much more serious than my health conniving parents ever suspected. Now they (the people that do those 4 out of 5 studies) say letting your oral health decline too much could cause a heart attack or a stroke. Talk about your mouth getting you into trouble! The other mouth trouble is all too familiar to me, but the oral health kind did not get on my radar until more recently.

If only every school principal would have explained oral health to me during THOSE frequent office visits: imagine 100 hours of oral health education. See even disruptive behavior can have benefits. It is sad I am the only one that understands this. Not only can I improve dental health habits, I can transform our public school system. Now back to dentistry…

Personal Story of Bad Mouth Trouble (The Principle health kind not the Principal kind)

Over a decade ago (just after I got married) I went back to the dentist for the first time in about 10 years. Excuse me… But NO my wife did not have to drag me in. Chloroform and a wheelchair did the job just fine!

So they have me in the dental chair, against my will. Sadly, it was all legal and perfectly acceptable; the laws in Minnesota give the spouse more authority than I realized. Who'd a thought you actually need to read that license? Back to the story, the straps are secure and I am basically immobile…

(This is where those with dental fear might want to exit. Read my story about dental fear here on DentalBlogger and come back.)

They have me in a sound proof room. My wife has signed off on a number of papers. Then I heard the paralegal/hygienist utter this phrase just before she left. "One more item, Mrs. Bad Mouth Husband. Do not resuscitate?" All I could make out of my wife's response, from my chloro-stupor, was, "What do you think? 'Death do us part." That sounded pretty good after waking up next to his mouth this morning."

Note: Besides heart attacks and such, periodontal issues can cause serious breath complications (halitosis). "Stand back everyone, and no one will get hurt." Something my wife was obviously familiar with. It is a wonder I was offered a license to sign in the first place.

Unfortunately, the chloroform was wearing off and our dental insurance did not cover another dose. So they proceed to map out a treatment plan for me. It is two visits of periodontal therapy. For forty minutes each time, they will scrape at my teeth and into the gums to remove years of abuse. This is what 10 years in small town radio gets you. (Small paychecks, no dental coverage, and bad teeth.)

Carnival Dentistry (Not true anymore)

Was the scraping painful? Did it hurt? Well, this funhouse dentist also treated kids and had an "updated" play area (Circa 1940s). Seen the carnival contraption with the thing that rings a bell when you hit it? I could see the towering ringer through the tall window, with a curtain that seemed to open and shut a lot. Every once in a while some of the carnival workers (I mean staff) and selected patrons peered in at me, then pointed and often laughed hysterically.

I wondered why the window so prominently featured the ringer thing. Why couldn't it have been a pleasant aquarium with live coral to calm me instead? Above the window was a red flashing sign and with letters I could only faintly see in a mirror: ¢5 ylnO smaercS. (Translation: Screams Only 5¢)

Every time I looked up at the ride operator (I mean hygienist) with my sad puppy dog eyes, she would ask, "Need anything for the discomfort?" (Discomfort is a marketing term.) I was going to demand she used the word PAIN, but being immobile and with her holding sharp instruments, I held my tongue (with hands strapped down, I might add) and just whimpered.

Getting back to the bell ringer... After glaring at me for my "thoughts" about pain, she gestures toward the 50-pound hammer (next to the Circa 1940s carnival bell ringing thing) and says, "I can help with that, no extra fees. Your insurance states in CLEAR language on page 722 in your dental plan literature that ringing your bell is covered."

Even though it was loads of discomfort (she might hear me) I THINK it might have saved my life: my Dad had a severe, debilitating heart attack just before he retired. I KNOW it saved my marriage; my breath got much better. Although my wife and I did end up going the Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore route - but we are seeing a counselor to correct those issues. For those who like to know these things: Our Sleep Number is 2 (beds).

And Better Is Here!

Luckily, things have changed dramatically in many dental offices. The carnival atmosphere has gone from Stephen King narrated to Pixar fixated.

My kids now wake ME up to take them to the dentist! "Dad, Dad, remember the video games and movies we can watch and play?!! We can take on Harry Potter in Quidditch, Dad! Watch Madagascar! The dentist even makes balloon animals. It is so cool… (awesome, keen, hip or whatever they say now)!

I say, "But no kid WANTS to go to the dentist. You are NOT my kids. What has happened? Where is Rod Serling? Where are the pods? I have crossed into a parallel universe…" Then I calm down, and realize I work with dentists all the time, and actually know that things have changed since the scary carnival days of dentistry. Finally, the dentists are as conniving as my parents. We all need to wake up and smell the coffee - don't we - or the breath. Take your pick.

Even if you are not part of the younger cavity club set, you should still expect something very calming (or find a dentist that does things your way). Think comfy couches rather than stiff chairs. Imagine rooms with aquariums and calming elements rather than set up like cold, sterile, interrogation areas.

Some dental practices go as far as massages, aroma-therapy and hand waxing. I am not much for hand waxing, but my new hygienist/masseuse Inga was very firm with me, and I like that.

They also have better techniques now to remove the plaque, and medicines to stop gum disease, especially in the earlier stages, and most dentists provide various sedation options.

And, don't let your dental insurance dictate your level of health, mental or dental! Fork over the money… My Dad stopped smoking after taking it up in the WWII Navy. He was spending $300 a year on cigarettes (and this was in the late 1950s). So we all know, every choice costs money, good or bad. But is your lack of dental health really worth, your life?

Conclusion: Serious Stuff People

This oral health stuff is serious. Imagine dying of a heart attack - not because you might talk TRASH during a stressful event - but because your mouth looks and smells like it.

Your Mission - please accept it soon: Floss, eat/drink better, and use a good mouthwash: don't forget it kills germs that cause halitosis, which can be an early sign of gum disease. (Gargling excellent vodka does not count.)

In addition, go to the dentist, as soon as you can, on your own if possible. Or buy some chloroform, rent a wheelchair, write a note, and leave it all where your spouse can see it.

Ask for all the sedatives you need (and the dentist can legally supply) and get your dental issues taken care. I can't imagine my kids losing me because of a heart attack caused by oral health. Think of the eulogy: My Dad was a real good guy. But his breath smelled bad, and it killed him.

I get sad puppy dog eyes and crocodile tears just thinking about it. Of course, I am also proud of them, they were able to make a pretty good joke/laugh out of the whole thing.

Therefore, my next article will be how death and dentistry can be funny. Or maybe not… Remember your mission RAC: get more people to go to the dentist, not make the fetal position even more popular.

More info on periodontal (gum) disease. It's good data presented by those 4 dentists that have had those positives things to say about all those studies we have appreciated over the years. Good Day Now! Better Dental Health!

Dental Commentary by RAC