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Dental technology (and the expertise utilize it) gives us the results we want, so I am not sure why it pains us so much to pay real money for it.

While this level of technology might be dispensed in DVD format from a machine at McDonalds for $1 some day, the reality is highly trained, highly paid, people now provide it. Yet we Americans are extremely conflicted. We want the whiz-bang of no-pain, less invasive dental technology, but whine like we want the whirr of the dental drill to hang around.

"Do you know how much it costs to go to the dentist nowadays? It's ridiculous!" If you are talking about uninsured Americans who are near or below the poverty line, I say, "Sign me up to that rant!" However, to the rest of our consumer society, I say, "Welcome to the reality you created." We are energetic, pathetic consumer schizophrenics.

We want cool high tech stuff. We want to live how we want and forever. We want. We want. We want. Then after getting everything we asked for - we don’t want to pay for it! Because we have lived an unhealthy, gratuitous (feed me more) life and/or have not honestly calculated our human frailty and failure rates, and not saved for this reality, we blame everybody else for the repair fee.

Full disclosure: I did not go to the dentist for about ten years during my twenties. Therefore, I sat around this campfire roasting a few of my own whining weenies.

Flowbee DDS

When the dentist was also the barber (150 years ago) we might have been justified in complaining about fees--the haircuts were terrible back then. But today, the whiz-bang technology actually makes things better…

• The intra-oral camera does not have a Flowbee attachment but it does show (magnified 20 times) how those expanding and contracting metal fillings are cracking our teeth.
• The digital x-ray has 90% less radiation than traditional dental x-rays--your progeny will thank you.
• The laser can often eliminate--painlessly--the scalpel (blood) and drill (screams) from your dental visit--what's removal of these horror flick features worth?

So I am not sure why we expect our dentist bill to be similar to the barber's, excuse me, hair stylist. Last time I was there--they were still using scissors. Plus $25 seems a bit much to cut dead cells from my head especially when comparing it to teeth. Because teeth are "living" and will keep me that way for much longer if I take care of them.

In addition, the Hummer or Expedition we drive costs more in gas in one year than most would spend on the dentist in the same time period. The SUV itself cost nearly as much as a lifetime of dentistry and it is our 3rd one. Our three-car garage and 25 foot schooner could have paid for our kids and grandkids dental visits.

Even if your consumer location is closer to the middle class (and I've been there) your goodies' tally probably has many coulda, shoulda, mighta done without add-ons. For example… a $75 cable bill, $100 cell phone bill, the latest TV/gadgets, the eating out overload, and various trinket over-consumption tendencies.

Yes, we all deserve some fun in our lives. But the reaper will do his grim harvest if we avoid paying the (health care) piper his due on a regular basis.

Outsourcing Reality

"Health care costs too much! Dentists charge too much! I will go to India where they charge a lot less! I want to keep more of the money I make. Let stuff sit on store shelves and gather dust, no way! I need a new PDA - they have swivel screens now!"

Sounds like we want the cake, we get to eat it, plus--even though it is NOT fat free--we should not gain weight. Or… "I want Wal-mart priced health care. But I deserve a high paying job. Let them outsource it if it suits me!"

Maybe health care should be 2% to 4% of our monthly expenses - rather than 20 to 40%. Don't get me wrong--costs jumping 20% a year is not a good plan either. But our priorities seem to be slanted. Outsourcing our daily commute to Saudi princes is the American way (SUV lovers and public transit haters) but when it comes to dental and medical health care we should get a deal? Add it all up and you have an unapologetic, nihilistic, dyslexic, pathetic, very unhygienic, consumer schizophrenic.

I am not sure if you have thought about dentistry this way, but sticking your fingers in someone's mouth for 6 or 7 hours a day would be a difficult job for most of us to swallow. Then imagine being trained for 2 or 3 years to do it and continuing to train the rest of your career. (So you haven't seen a dentist in 20 years. Now open wide Mr. X. ---- Gag reflex activated.) It seems we should be TIPPING dentists.

Hazard Pay

My wife always says after hearing about a highway fatality, "Law enforcement officers deserve twice as much money just because of that accident where they knock on a door in the middle of the night." Dentistry has similar--My God, what will today bring--hazard pay scenarios.

For example, after ten years of avoiding the dentist, my dentist earned his hazard pay. Back then I was not clued in about the value dentists provide so my only TIP was… If you run into another patient like me, you should know that with wrecks as bad as mine euthanasia are often covered by insurance.

Luckily, my oral accident was not fatal--only severely debilitating for those who came near. However, the just-in-case tag did cut off the circulation to my big toe! Maybe I'll sue? Frivolous malpractice lawsuits, now that makes America great! Perfect way to end this denTall tale, with a future article topic.

Sincerely, RAC